I believe it was in 1932 that the brave and wise
General Obama gave the following inspirational message to America:
“The only
thing we have to fear, is fear itself”.
The good general had to explain this statement to me
because of its deep and nuanced message.
Here are General Obama’s words of enlightenment and explication:
You see, if we have fear of our enemy then we become afraid.
To be afraid is to become fearful. To become fearful is to get mad. If your fear and anger make you sufficiently
afraid, not just kind of afraid, but really afraid, you may offer opposition to
your enemy. If you oppose your enemy they will become stronger and gain more
converts to their cause. Opposition to an enemy is bad: it’s what they want! So if you oppose your enemy you are allowing
them to achieve their goals, which makes them successful, and they win. So in
order to defeat an enemy one has to speak softly, bomb carefully and maintain
very restrictive rules of engagement so the enemy knows you aren’t really
afraid of them and don’t really want to hurt them, because that would make them
mad and engender fear in them, and then they would get really, really mad and
they might start to hate you. And if one hates their enemy they may start to
make derisive statements against them. And if one expresses derision against an
enemy that really hates you the Attorney General might bring charges against them
and convict them of a hate crime, and you want to avoid that at all costs
because CNN and independent voters don’t like haters and especially haters who
express derision against their enemies. And the most important thing is that your
enemy should not be restrained from entering your country and living well at
tax-payers’ expense, because to keep the enemy out of your country is to show
fear, and, yada, yada, yada.
The important lessons to be taken from the General’s wise
words:
Don’t hate those who are trying to kill you. And above
all, don’t make them mad at you.
Don’t make a mocking Hitler salute and say “sieg heil”.
Don’t use your index finger to form a mocking Hitler mustache
above your upper lip.
Allow our enemy to be near you and he will see how
nice you are and he will love you.
Don’t shoot at your enemy; it’s what he wants you do to!
Thank your General Obama, and make God have mercy on the
United States of America.
